Hello again! It’s only been 12 days but it feels like so much longer. I wanted to give myself a brain break after the 31 days but I definitely missed writing! Since I’m a number-loving weirdo, I had to post today, on 11-12-14. I figured it was the perfect time to come back 😉
The first couple days off were nice. I was able to get caught up on laundry and work on the to do list that had been mostly set aside for the month of October. Hubby was gone on a work trip for the week and I intended to spend it resting. Which kinda worked but I mostly ended up restless and antsy.
I’ve heard people say ‘it would’ve been so much easier to trust in God/believe in God when Jesus walked the earth cause it was more concrete and obvious.’ I’ve laughed at that thought over the past 10 days because I have experienced first hand how that’s probably not true. I could even say that’s definitely not true, because look at Peter! He was one of Jesus’ close buddies – he walked on water for goodness sake – but even HE betrayed Jesus…more than once!
Jesus didn’t walk through any walls to present himself physically to me, but God showed up so clearly and intensely over the month of October that He was as concrete and undeniable as you can probably get in this life. I know that I know that He proved Himself to be faithful and gave me clear vision and direction and dreams for the future. It was a supernatural month.
And then November came. Hubby left. I attempted to take a brain break and rest and just bask in the glory that had happened in October. I intended to lay all of these new possibilities and goals on the table and come up with a plan for how it was all going to work. I was ready for the glory cloud to continue to lead me into this perfect new life.
However, the opposite seemed to happen. Suddenly I felt as though I was in a completely different room with no one and nothing else in it. It was just me staring at blank walls wondering ‘did all of that realllly happen?!’ I knew it had. I wasn’t doubting it or thinking I was crazy. (mostly anyway) I definitely didn’t think God had ‘left me’, but the warm and fuzzy glory cloud that existed in October wasn’t there any more. It was just me and my thoughts. Me and my faith that He had strengthened and stretched just days and weeks before. Me and my choice to still trust and believe the promises that were given. Me attempting to figure things out in my own strength when I really needed to sit back and rest in His timing and plans. Just because God reveals something to us now doesn’t mean that ‘now’ is the time for it to come to fruition!
How often are we just like Peter? How many times have we walked on water in the midst of God’s presence just to doubt and deny Him in the quiet or turbulent times? If God is the same yesterday today and forever, then it’s up to US to believe that His promises are true and He is faithful whether we feel His presence or not. Whether we’re in a ‘happy Holy Spirit moment’ during worship at church or sitting in our living room surrounded by a mess at home on a Wednesday morning. He is faithful. He has proven Himself to be faithful over and over and over again. He has promised to never leave nor forsake us.
May we learn to fully rest in Him. To rest in His promises and trust Him when it’s easy and when it’s not so easy. Thank you God for your faithfulness. Thank you for being a good God and for having our best interests at heart. Because even when circumstances don’t appear to be great from our perspective, your ways are higher than ours and for that, I am so grateful!
Image Credit: Erin Kass