I could feel the imminent avalanche of life threatening to overtake my thoughts. The crazy train was pulling up to the station and I was at the point of decision where I could choose to jump on or let it pass.
We’ll be gone the second half of this month visiting family for Christmas. It’s the first time in our 10 years together where we’ll be traveling to both mine and my husband’s home states, FL & LA, for a holiday. It’s only the 2nd time in 6 years that we’ll actually be with family during the holiday season. As much as I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, the reality in this moment is more ‘what the heck were we thinking when we planned this?!’ Two weeks of trying to stuff in as much quality time as possible as we go down the list of ‘friends and family we only see once or twice every year …or once or twice every several years.’ A 24+ hour round trip road trip with two dogs plus two more flights after only being home 3 weeks from my adventure out west. (Seattle is seriously no joke for this girl who has only lived in flat land her entire life! 😉 )
Growing up I loved this tv show called ‘Out of This World’. The show revolved around a teenaged girl who was half-alien, which sounds weird but she had the ability to stop and start time. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I actually sometimes touch the ends of my index fingers together just to see if I too have been gifted with this ability, but sadly it hasn’t worked yet. Oh how I would love to freeze time for a day, week, month just to sleep and get caught up on ‘life’ while life is on pause!
In this moment, I am tired. In this moment I would be perfectly happy to shut my brain off and coast through the rest of the year (and if I’m being really honest…to not even talk to anyone! :-D) In this moment, I’m wishing that we were one of those couples whose biggest challenge is figuring out which family we’ll see first on Christmas Day…or if we will mix it up and spend the weekend before with one family and then the weekend after with another, while we take Christmas Day to ourselves. Or WHATEVER.
2014 has easily been one of the best years of my life. After many seasons of working the soil, removing rocks, planting seeds, fertilizing and watering, I finally started to see what has been unseen. But it has also felt like God’s boot camp. It has been intense, as I’ve shared some of it in previous blog posts and I’ll be sharing more in future ones. We’ve had something big involving a trip or event for one or both of us in almost every month…not to mention the ever-present to do list for getting this house finally organized and settled. As much as I love to travel, organize events, and am thankful for this house, I’m ready to breathe.
As I sat here thinking ‘What do I need to do to fix life? How do I rest and do nothing for a week while I also attempt to make progress on these circumstances that surround me? Should I sit and do Bible study for an hour or turn on worship music and try to drown out life for a bit? or???’, that still small voice replied ‘just be’.
I can so easily fill my thoughts with unneeded, unhelpful clutter…especially when I’m tired. Instead I need to take my over-active brain captive and just rest in His silence. Without silence on my end, He’ll never be able to get a word in!
1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Image Credit: Erin Kass