Ready to Breathe - Living an abundant {naked, messy, adventurous} life as a CHILD of God.

Living an abundant {naked, messy, adventurous} life as a CHILD of God.

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Life Without Excuses

1 / 4 / 161 / 4 / 16

In August, I was in Colorado for the For the Love retreat. I arrived early and spent a day exploring Breckenridge with friends. The rest of the group was super excited to ride down the mountain on the Alpine SuperSlide. I stayed behind as they took off on the lifts to head to the top. I’ve never been an adventurous person by nature and years of physical sickness that limited my activity meant my automatic response in situations like that was ‘no.’

But as the last person disappeared into the sky, I thought ‘but why?! Why are you really not joining the rest of them?’ I realized I didn’t have a good enough reason, so the thoughts in my head were all fear-based excuses. I bought a ticket and rode the swinging fall-to-my-death-at-any-minute-chair (it’s a process, alright?!)  to the top of the hill and experienced the joy of crisp mountain air hitting my face as I slid down the slide…laughing like a kid the entire way.

I have avoided a lot in my life because I thought things would be ‘too hard’ due to the intricacies of my personality. I’ve used them as excuses: ‘I can’t do that because it would mess with me too much…I’m just too sensitive’ or ‘the emotions involved with that relationship are too deep/hard/messy and I’m not dealing with them’ or ‘I’m an introvert so it’s ok that I’m a hermit and don’t want to connect with a lot of people’

However, in recent months, I’ve realized just how much life I’ve missed out on because I was too afraid to feel.

So I made a choice. I decided to stop limiting my capacity to be used by God. Staying away from the hard stuff means not being present in the very scenarios that are ripe with opportunity for Him to show up. He created me with this tender heart for a purpose and my job is to trust Him with it in all situations…not just the ones I want to be part of.

How many orphans would have families if more of us stopped saying ‘I could never foster a child, it would be too difficult to give them back’?  How many homeless individuals would actually feel like real people instead of worthless & forgotten trash on the street if we stopped walking past them, pretending not to notice? How many relationships would be rectified if we laid down our excuse of pride and said ‘I don’t care if I feel like he/she wronged me, the person and my relationship with him/her is more important so I’m gonna do what I can to make it right’?

We justify not making changes in life because ‘as women we tend to be ______’ or ‘as men we tend to do ______’. We say ‘It’s just the way I am, I can’t help it’ – which is true to an extent. God made us in very specific ways for very specific purposes. The way we are is a valid reason for why we do things the way that we do them…but if we don’t stretch ourselves to grow and go beyond our natural capacity, our lives will be extremely limited. When we use our ‘reasons’ as a way to avoid leaving our comfort zones, they become excuses.

A friend recently wrote “Mediocrity is unacceptable to someone who sees life as something to be seized and experienced, not just lived. Mediocrity is nothing more than the cumulative results of all your ‘that’s too hard’, ‘I don’t have time’, ‘I’ll get to it’ and other excuses you might have…Mediocrity is always waiting, always accepting…”

I often see the phrase ‘fully alive’ tossed around social media (and the decor section of TJ Maxx ;)).  It’s a very warm and fuzzy thought, but if we’re not careful, it could lead to just a more glamorous term for ‘mediocre’.

I’m sure most people  want to live ‘fully alive’ in the comfortable sense. But I want to live truly fully alive – a life that’s warm and fuzzy but also not afraid of the messy and hard. I want all that God has to offer, even if it means getting in the trenches with those who have been labeled ‘subpar’ and unworthy…even if it means not being able to avoid the heartache that often comes with it.

In this new year, I want to be surrounded by people who aren’t going to let me settle for anything less than God’s best. Here’s to going ‘all in’ and living without excuses!

 

Life Without Excuses

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2015: ‘Create’

12 / 31 / 1512 / 31 / 15

I sit here in the early hours of the eve of a new year…soaking in the goodness of what this current year has brought. It’s goodness that goes beyond my human comprehension…goodness that I feel I haven’t even fully grasped the magnitude of yet.

2015’s ‘word of the year’ was CREATE.

Create

(screen shot from http://www.merriam-webster.com)

 

My mind wants to explode when I think of all that has been ‘created’ this year: dreams, vision, projects, relationships…the list goes on. However, it all can be summed up in the verse God recently gave me as I reflected on these past 12 months:

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

~Psalm 51:10

Oh, this heart of mine. This beautiful, deeply passionate, messy, creative heart.

One of my She is Loved questions is  ‘If it were possible for someone to be YOU for a day, what would you want them to experience & understand in order to really ‘get’ who you are?’

…My answer is that I’d want you to jump into my heart.

If you were in my heart, you’d see just how difficult life can be some days. You’d get a first hand perspective of how much effort it sometimes takes to function and act ‘normal’…not because I’m depressed or struggling in the typical sense, but because I’m made the way that I am.

If you were in my heart, you’d witness the constant tug of war between it and my head…when my heart wants to completely fall apart and sob because it looks a hurting individual in the eyes and feels his/her pain as if it were my own…but my head says ‘you need to set healthy boundaries and keep your emotions in check’.

If you were in my heart, you’d experience the toddler temper tantrum that happens whenever my child-like soul wants to throw responsible adulting in the trash and spend the day ‘playing’ instead, but my head says ‘no, laundry needs to be done, bills need to be paid and work needs to be accomplished’ (Thankfully, over time, my head has learned that my heart needs those days so the temper tantrums have shrunk in number but still…)

If you could magically jump inside my body, you’d understand just how deeply I love. You’d understand how important people are to me, and how I honestly can see beauty and potential in everyone.

Which means you’d understand why it’s so easy for me to guard my emotions…because when you love as deeply as I do, you hurt deeply when something happens to someone you love or if a relationship is fractured.


‘Create in me a pure heart…

This heart of mine has been unraveled this year. In order for something to be pure, it means that only one thing remains. Pure = not mixed with anything else. God has used His wrecking ball called love to transform my life to a place where I barely even recognize it.

I have learned what it means to fully rest in Him. I have experienced His peace in a way I never knew existed. God has unlocked this easily-guarded heart and given me a new huge glimpse into what it means to live fully alive…to live with a pure heart where only He remains.

…and renew a steadfast spirit within me.’ 

Love is a wrecking ball but it is also ‘steel reinforcement bars’. As my heart has been molded and shaped to more closely resemble what it is meant to be, God has strengthened my passion and drive to chase after Him with everything that I am. I’m hungry…starving actually…and have renewed determination to not settle for anything less than God’s best for me.


The amount of God we have in our lives is directly proportionate to how much we throw off everything that hinders and run full-throttle into Him. Living fully alive is really much more simple than we tend to make it. Our excuses seem justified in our minds, but the reality is we’re only cheating ourselves.

In these last few hours of 2015, I am thankful. It’s been easily the best year of my life thus far…yet I know even better is in my future. Here’s to 2016 and the adventures to come.

 

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He’s Got You

11 / 9 / 15

What are you focusing on? What is your faith in? What have you marinated in today – your circumstances or the presence of God? Because the presence of God brings love, joy, peace, patience, GOODNESS ~ And He is a good good Father who wants to pour out His blessing and provision even more than you’re ready to receive it!

Perfect love casts out fear. Love and fear CANNOT coexist – it’s literally impossible. So what are you really afraid of? And what is God’s response to those fears? How big is your God? Do you fully trust Him and believe what He says?

He’s got you. It’s not the trust fall video where the poor girl falls the wrong way – you are SURROUNDED by Him. He’s covering all sides!

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  (Matthew 6:25-26, emphasis added by me)

God may or may not change your current circumstances immediately. So train yourself to see His joy in everything. What brings you joy in every day life? Maybe take the scenic route home/to work if nature revitalizes you. Be sensitive to where God can use you to help people wherever you go. His LIFE is all over. We just have to train ourselves to see it.

You are MORE than a conqueror in Christ. Not just a conqueror – MORE than a conqueror (Romans 8:37). He’s got everything you need to make it through this season. Drop whatever baggage is keeping you back and present your newly empty and open hands to Him so you can receive what He has to give.

You are His awesome son/daughter ~ heir to His kingdom. Walk in it and know that ‘all these things’ will be added to you when you seek Him first. (Matthew 6:33)

Hes Got you

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Beautifully Wrecked

10 / 8 / 1510 / 8 / 15

It’s a funny thing, this furious love of the Father. His heart is for us. He pursues us. He sees us in our worst, in the depths of our soul…the parts that we don’t even understand or know exist. But yet even in seeing those deepest darkest parts of our heart, He beams with love. A love we will never comprehend on this side of heaven.

Yet in our humanness, we tightly hold onto our broken and messy bits. Even when we throw our arms out in surrender and say ‘Here I am God, send me, you’re my all, my everything’…Even when we think we’ve surrendered all, there’s always more to let go of. There are always areas to be made whole and complete in Him.

We hold on, because in our humanness, the idea of being wrecked and broken seems unattractive. It seems hard. It seems weak. But it’s in our weakness that we are made whole. It’s in our weakness that His strength is perfected.

There are times I’ve felt weary and have claimed 2 Corinthians 12:9 (“…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…”) just to get me through the day. As awesome as it is to think of God carrying us when we can’t take another step, I’m discovering a totally different side to that verse: the strength that comes from being beautifully wrecked.

I launched She is Loved just under two months ago. SheisLoved.org went live last week. I’ve never felt more in the ‘sweet spot’ of life than I do right now.  I’ve never felt more confident that where I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve never felt more ‘me’…I’ve never felt stronger in my spirit. Yet if you peeled back the outer layers, you’d see that my heart is an absolute mess in the best way possible.

I’m being beautifully wrecked. God’s power is being made perfect in my human weakness. As I’ve allowed God to expand my capacity to love people, He’s overwhelmed me with the ability to see my life – all of it – in a new way. The ‘more of Him’ needed for my current calling isn’t just limited to that area. His presence is rushing over the river banks of She is Loved and flooding my heart.

Does it all ‘feel good’ in the typical happy go lucky sense? Definitely not. There’s ache as my heart breaks for women who have endured (and/or still enduring) less than favorable circumstances. But the ache fuels the excitement of planning their She is Loved session. The ache brings a new strength to speak life and plant seeds of hope and love in previously barren soil. The ‘weakness’ is bringing strength. His power is being made perfect in it.

Pressing in, going for broke, or even just considering letting go of the things we have tightly clenched in our fists is scary. Terrifying. But it’s soooo worth it. For His power and strength is made perfect in our weakness.

 

(And if you have abt 5 min to watch/listen to this song and let it soak into your spirit, I promise you won’t regret it:) )

https://bethelmusic.com/videos/out-of-hiding-fathers-song-lyric-video-2/

Out of Hiding by Steffany Gretzinger

Come out of hiding, you’re safe here with Me
There’s no need to cover what I already see
You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace
You’ve been on lockdown and I hold your key

‘Cause I loved you before you knew what was love
I saw it all, still I chose the cross
You were the one that I was thinking of
When I rose from the grave
Now rid of the shackles, My victory’s yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You’re not far from home

I’ll be your lighthouse when you’re lost at sea
I will illuminate everything
No need to be frightened by intimacy
Just throw off your fear and come running to me

Oh as you run, what hindered love
Will only become part of the story

Baby, you’re almost home now
Please don’t quit now
You’re almost home to me

Beautifully Wrecked

Image Credit: Ginny Corbett Photography

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God’s Not Finished With You Yet

6 / 24 / 156 / 24 / 15

God isnt finished yet

Someone needs to hear those words today. I had a couple other blog posts rolling around in my head but when I specifically asked God what to write about today, He gave me this:

God’s not finished with you yet.

 “I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ”  ~Philippians 1:3-6

It’s so easy to wonder where life is going sometimes, yeah? Maybe you started off on a journey…God gave you a vision and direction so you set off on the course to go after it. Now you find yourself listening to the cricket soundtrack while wandering in the woods or the desert (do crickets live in the desert?!) and wondering if you missed God or if He’s forgotten about you.

But He hasn’t. ‘He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.’

You are a masterpiece. You’re a priceless, valuable and rare piece of artwork. If you’re an artist yourself, or know one and/or have been around one, chances are you know that an artist’s work is never done. I can take 10 awesome pictures and while editing them still think ‘I wish I would’ve shot this angle too.’  I have friends who consistently go back and re-edit images they previously considered finished…other friends who never stop tweaking their graphic designs or hand drawn art work.

Leonardo DaVinci himself said, “Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

God is the master artist…but thankfully for us, He never abandons us.

If you feel as though you are a partially finished piece of artwork, be encouraged – you’re in good company because we ALL are! Even those individuals who appear to have it all together are still works in progress. God isn’t finished with you yet.

Those areas that you consider flaws are simply ‘works in progress.’ There is no condemnation in God (Romans 8:1). Take the negative thoughts you’re using to beat yourself up and throw them at the foot of the cross. You’re you. You’re human. You will have bad days and times where you lose your temper and get upset over big and small things. There will be days where you feel like a failure and like nothing you do matters or will ever be successful.

But God isn’t finished with you yet.

Yesterday or this morning or five minutes ago might’ve been a less than stellar moment…but you can choose in this moment to set your eyes on God and allow Him to remind you that you’re more than a conqueror. He is for you – God is your number one cheerleader. The areas you see as ugly and messy are simply sections of unshaped clay ready to be molded by His more than capable hands.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…and God’s not finished with you yet!

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Value Beyond the Surface

6 / 19 / 156 / 19 / 15

Five years and a few months ago, we decided to test the waters of the housing market. We hadn’t planned to start looking for our first home until a year later – once Pete was back on shore duty for a bit and circumstances made a little more sense – but our rental situation wasn’t ideal and the $8,000 first time home buyer tax credit was ending soon so we decided to start the process. We agreed we wouldn’t force anything to happen, but if God opened doors, we’d gladly walk through them.

At the end of the third day of property perusing, we pulled into one last driveway and were pretty sure it would only take the 5-10 minutes of remaining daylight to mark this place off the list. The night before, I edited our list of houses to check out based on what we had already seen. We realized we didn’t like certain styles of homes, even if they had been recently updated and had most of the other wants/needs on our list. This particular property almost got cut: ‘bank owned’, ‘foreclosure’, ‘as is’, built in 1950, square footage and lot size that didn’t make sense based on the price…and it wasn’t our favorite style. But for some reason, I kept it.

This house definitely didn’t make a great first impression in person either. It would be the example for ‘curb appeal to make sure you don’t sell your house’. The old rusty chain link fence was falling apart and even missing in some areas. The landscaping was severely lacking aside from a few daffodils that attempted to give the scene a glimmer of hope. Aside from the fact the house was black and white and had a yard size that was rare for our price point, we were not feeling the warm fuzzies – until we walked in the front door and realized we had found home.

The inside wasn’t anything to make it into the latest edition of ‘best house on the block’ magazine either, but we immediately fell in love with its character. We saw its potential. It’s quirky layout spoke to our own unconventional personalities. It just fit.

If you walked through our front door now, you probably wouldn’t guess that we’ve lived here for five years already. There’s so much that still needs to be done. Our front room has a bunch of stuff waiting to be organized and put away and/or donated. There are paint swatches on the living room wall from 5 years ago and other painting that needs to be finished. Our walls aren’t covered in pictures. The place isn’t creatively designed. The yard still needs work and the paint on the front door is still peeling.

If you walked through our front door now, you might think we’re pack rats, or lazy, or careless slobs. On the surface, there’s still a whole lot of hot mess of crazy going on. But what you can’t see is all that has gone on behind the scenes and beneath the surface over the years.

Although my hubby and I know where we’ve come from and what we’ve dealt with, the outside world doesn’t. The condition of our house has been a source of shame and frustration. We’ve been hesitant to invite anyone over or if we do, there’s always the feeling of obligation to explain why things are the way they are. To give reasons why our circumstances don’t measure up to what is considered the norm.

“Hi, thanks for coming over! Excuse the mess…We bought the house when Pete was stationed on a really busy ship and he wasn’t around much for the first couple years…We’ve had to replace duct work and insulation and ceilings (twice) and that’s why we haven’t been able to spend money on the pretty stuff…We moved our things 9 times in the first 6 years of our marriage and Erin was really sick during many of those moves so our stuff just got thrown in miscellaneous boxes and we’re still digging out of it…We chose to make our marriage and other people a priority so that’s why we’re not farther along…We chose to spend quality time reconnecting with each other after years of separation due to the Navy instead of working on house projects”…and the list of reasons go on.

When I walk through the front door of our house, I see how far we’ve come and how much we’ve actually accomplished. However, if I walk into the front door of our house and view it through the eyes of someone coming here for the first time it can become overwhelming and discouraging. ‘We’ve worked so hard and done so much but there is still so much to do. It still doesn’t look that great!’ are the thoughts that have kept us from wanting to let others in. They’ve kept us from entertaining and doing what we love to do: love on people.

 

Maybe you can take out ‘house’ and insert you own circumstances. Maybe you’re dealing with relationship struggles or childhood trauma or chronic illness.  Maybe you have been hesitant to let people in because although you know what you’ve been through and what you’ve come from, you still don’t feel as though your life is ‘pretty’ or what others would choose to be around. HEAR THIS: You still have value. 

Hubs and I decided to stop allowing our circumstances to interfere with our heart for people. It’s not perfect, but we’re giving what we have to God and are allowing Him to use it. We’ve had friends come over and even stay overnight here, and none of them have run out of the house screaming from disgust while vowing never to return. Instead, most if not all of them have expressed how much they enjoyed being here and how it felt like ‘home’.

You are just as capable to be used in others’ lives, regardless of how inferior you may feel. 

Have some of those people walked in and thought ‘yikes this place is a disaster’? Quite possible and probable…I’ve thought and said words like that myself. 😉 But at the end of the day, who really cares?  Yes we want to see people happy. Yes I want my house to be put together so friends and acquaintances can come escape the chaos of their own lives and feel relaxed. But until we get to that point, I am who I am and I’m gonna do the best I can with what I have…and I encourage you to do the same!

Let’s choose to celebrate our victories, big or small, and create an environment for others to celebrate theirs without fear of judgement or shame! Let’s stop allowing the things that really won’t matter in eternity get in the way of the things that will.  Let’s essentially get over ourselves and say ‘here I am God, use me’ and allow Him to use our five small loaves and two small fish to feed the multitudes.

Here’s a virtual high five for living another day and simply being you. <3

Value Beyond the Surface

 

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Simply Come

6 / 2 / 156 / 2 / 15

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV) 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

 

Come.

Feeling stressed? Unworthy? Unloved?

Come.

Staring at the unknown? The impossible? The dark?

Come.

Come into His presence – just as you are. God isn’t focused on what you’ve done or haven’t done…He’s not holding a list of qualification boxes waiting to be checked off before He’ll accept you into His loving arms. Just come.

This life can be rough. It can flat out suck some days. God never promised to ‘only give us what we can handle’ – but He did promise to never leave nor forsake us. He did promise that in His presence is fullness of joy…that His Spirit brings love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. We find refuge and rest in Him when we simply come. We find all that we lack in His embrace.

Come. Kicking and screaming if you have to. God isn’t afraid of your mess. It’s not overwhelming to Him. Get real. Get dirty. Spill your guts. Use four-letter words if you have to (that’s right, God’s not afraid of those either). He KNOWS us. He knows our hearts more than we do. Nothing is going to shock Him so we have no reason to hide.

Whether it’s your first time or millionth time, come to God. If words don’t come, simply saying ‘Help’ or ‘Hi’ or ‘Wazzup Homie G’ will suffice. It doesn’t need to be complicated, just come.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  (Romans 15:13, NIV)

“I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”  (Ephesians 3:16-20. The Message)

Amen.

Simply Come

Image Credit: Erin Kass

 

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Life is in the Moments

5 / 29 / 155 / 29 / 15

Life is in the Moments

I was born on Memorial Day. 5/25/81. I’ve had some pretty great birthdays over the years: weekend getaways with friends, nice dinners, a Titanic themed murder mystery party (complete with costumes and the actual final dinner from its fateful night) , puppy Stitch, the first night in our new house, and a trip to Paris.

2015’s celebration didn’t have all the bells and whistles but I can easily add it to this list of greats. This year was about celebrating life and all its mundane glory. Sunsets over the water and sitting around a fire with new friends. Unexpected deliveries and intentionally coordinated gift wrap. Showing someone love just because they’re human…not because he/she has done anything to earn it. Remembering the fragility of life and just how quickly circumstances can change. Realizing our lives are truly not about ourselves but how we can serve and love on others.

My goal for year 35 is to stay mindful that life – true living – is in the moments. It’s in the seemingly mundane and often overlooked details. There is treasure all around us if we simply train our eyes to see it.

Bday Weekend-1002

Bday Weekend-1003

Bday Weekend-1004

Bday Weekend-1005

Bday Weekend-1006

Bday Weekend-1007

Bday Weekend-1008

Bday Weekend-1010

Bday Weekend-1011Image Credits: Erin Kass

 

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5 Ways to Overcome Comparison and Competition

5 / 19 / 155 / 19 / 15

Competition. It’s everywhere. Top reality shows are based on it. It’s the foundation of sports. The general idea is that it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and if you’re not pushing to be #1, you’ll be left in the dust and considered worthless.

In a recent discussion with a friend, we talked about how exhausting competition can be. If you’re not careful, friendships can even be ruined because of it. Social groups seem to always have those who are the most talented or most popular or most attractive…and social media has put a giant magnifying glass on the comparison game due to the non-stop highlight reel of everyone’s lives. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hamster wheel of performance and striving in order to stay competitive.

At one point during our conversation my friend asked “how do you stay out of it when you’re still in it?” She’s a photographer and since it seems as though everyone and their uncle Bob is also a photographer, it can feel hopeless when trying to stand out and make a name for yourself. Photographic styles can be very similar and unlike other fields, there is a lot of gray area for standardization. The competitive element can get fierce. The only options would appear to be 1. Get out completely and choose a different profession or 2. Just realize competition is par for the course and keep on fighting for the lead.

But I’ve contemplated this topic of competition quite a bit lately and I’ve discovered there is a 3rd option: You simply choose not to enter into it.

When Stitch was young we frequented the pug meet-ups at our local dog parks. For the most part, pugs tend to get along well with each other but occasionally a doggy disagreement would happen. It usually started with a butt-sniffing gone wrong between two dogs but within seconds, the herd of other pugs would take off toward the action. (Then the herd of owners would take off to go break it up and bring their dog(s) back to their respective corners)

Whenever these disagreements broke out, we immediately looked for Stitch to make sure he was okay. Thankfully, he never ran toward the fight. Most times you would see him sniffing the fence line or hanging out with the humans. When a fight started, he either ignored it completely or simply looked up from his current sniff inspection to see what was going on then went on with his business.

Life is a lot less stressful for yourself and for those around you when you don’t participate in the  rat race and choose to live in contentment vs competition. You might be nodding your head in agreement but are thinking ‘that sounds great but I have no clue how to accomplish that.’

I have a competitive spirit by nature so this is definitely still a work in progress for me too, but here are 5 ways I’m learning to overcome comparison and competition:

1. Make sure you fill your cup with what’s most important FIRST.  We think we’re too busy to fit in quality time with God – but if we don’t make it a priority, we’re not connecting to and being filled by our source! If God is filling our ‘love buckets’, then we won’t feel the need to search for love and approval elsewhere.

2. Know who and whose you are. This ties into #1…The only way we can truly know who we are and what we were created for is to be connected to our Creator. When we recognize that no two people on this planet are exactly alike, we can be confident in who we are. The only one competing to ‘be me’ is me…cause no one else can do exactly what I do exactly the way I do it!

3. Be mindful of your influences.  Studies have shown that our brain and body follow where the mind leads. So where is your mind leading? What are you allowing to influence your thoughts? It’s easy to feel inadequate when social media and reality shows flaunt excessive wealth and/or success. Or maybe your friends consistently stir the competition pot or often complain about where they are in life. Discontentment breeds comparison and competition. It might be time to shift your inner circle and limit the time you spend surfing the internet or tv guide.

4. Give yourself permission to BE YOU. It might sound weird, but the sea of life can really bounce us around in the waves of what is considered ‘normal’ or popular or what other people think we should be doing. Consciously making the decision to ‘be me’ is the anchor that keeps me from wavering. ‘Being me’ gives me the freedom to keep sniffing the fence line like Stitch while the other dogs ran to fight.

5. Eliminate the mindset of ‘lack’. We compete and compare because we somehow think there’s not enough to go around. That’s not how God’s economy works. We ALL have a specific purpose that is uniquely ours. God is infinite. We don’t have to compete for a finite amount of love or provision.

 

Competition can be beneficial. It compels us to push toward excellence. It shows us what is possible and gives us goals to work toward. Without it, we’d likely turn into a bunch of lazy couch potatoes ;). But let’s make sure to keep it healthy. Let’s choose to approach  competition with the mindset of ‘iron sharpening iron’ in order to further His Kingdom from a position of unity – instead of sharpening our swords to use on each other.

How do you overcome the trap of comparison and competition? Please share your thoughts and methods in the comments below!

 

5 Ways Overcome C and CImage Credit: Erin Kass

 

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Baby Steps Are Still Steps

5 / 6 / 155 / 7 / 15

It’s 11:19 pm and I’m sitting in my living room reflecting on the day. It did not go anywhere near what I hoped. (So maybe this post is meant for one of you reading it and the events of today got me to this place of writing it. You’re welcome.)

Today is one of those days where my flesh goes ‘seriously God? How am I ever gonna get from where I am to where you’ve shown me I’m going? How am I ever going to herd my scattered cat-thoughts consistently enough to  make them follow the direction you lead?’

I started my day by watching Michael Hyatt’s latest podcast:  ‘The one way to guarantee you won’t succeed: 6 Tricks for training yourself to persist when you want to quit’. I’m no where near wanting to quit but I am smirking to myself that the day started with tips for persistence…and today has been a day of choosing persistence.

I finished the podcast and was ready to tackle my day. I had planned to write a blog post (that should’ve been easy because it was all laid out in my head – I just had to get it to the screen), get some laundry done, make more progress on our current ‘spring cleaning on steroids’ scenario, and get in a quick 10 minute walk. I know exercise is important but I have yet to start and maintain any type of work out routine so I’m starting small: At least three 10-min walks per week.

Somewhere soon after the train left the station, the conductor threw the scheduled itinerary out the window and decided to take a joy ride through…something…chasing squirrels or butterflies or what was I talking about again? Oh look at the cute widdle wabbit…

Some days I wake up and am on point. Gears are moving like a well-oiled machine and I hit a home run in the productivity department. Other days are like today and it doesn’t matter how much I prepared or planned, I find myself going ‘where the heck did today go?!’ and ‘has anyone seen my missing brain cells?!’ I’m still very much a work in progress, and I have a feeling it’s going to be a life-long learning process, but I’m at least a step closer to the place where I can appreciate the small victories.

As of 9:00 pm, after spending the evening celebrating my brother’s birthday with family via a FaceTime date, the only thing I had accomplished from my goal list was a partially completed blog post. I started it and words started flowing and then so did the distractions. Hubby came home early, dogs wanted attention (yes they’re dogs, but if you know anything about pugs you understand), people showed up to take care of a nuisance animal situation, and my highly sensitive person nature started to pick up on every.single.little.noise. and my brain was not able to think. In a perfect world I would follow the advice I hear so often of ‘push through! no excuses! make it happen!’ but when your brain and body don’t want to cooperate, I just don’t know how to move forward anyway. Believe me I’ve tried. I can drive myself crazy thinking and feeling like I’m a slacker because I just can’t seem to get all parts of me moving in the same direction some days.

But as I said, I’m a step closer to doing life well as ‘me’ so instead of dismissing today as a total failure, at 9:00 I thought ‘I at least made a little progress today, even if it felt microscopic compared to what I hoped to achieve’ and asked myself ‘what else could I possibly do?’

I really wanted to get in the 10 minute walk so I took the dogs out on a trip down our street and back. Check.  Then I realized I could still at least get a load of laundry started so I did. Check. As I sorted the laundry I thought about the blog post I started earlier and realized there was no way I was going to finish it tonight (at least not where you’d probably understand it)…but thoughts for this blog post started coming to mind so I decided to attempt to accomplish the blog goal even if it looks different than what it was when I started. (so if you’re reading this, obviously that item got a check in the block and you can eagerly anticipate the original blog post for today! 😉 )

Today won’t go down in the record books as one of my most productive days ever. But I still made forward progress even if it feels like baby steps. If nothing else, I hope this post encourages you to know that you’re not alone if you also feel like you’re on a baby-steppin’ journey some days.

The choice to determine the direction of movement in our lives is up to us. Even times of failure and situations that feel like set backs can become forward progress if we choose to learn from them. Here’s to new days, fresh starts, and celebrating small victories. Now it’s time for bed.

Baby StepsImage Credit: Erin Kass

 

 

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