An Audience of One

Here I am on Day Two. Yesterday I was excited. My head was still spinning from the quick, God-warp-speed progression of how this site/blog came to be. In less than a week’s time, I saw the information about this 31 day challenge, had the idea for my topic less than 5 minutes later, God downloaded a whole new vision for this blog including a ‘mission’ verse, possible topics to write about and an overall huge potential direction, I secured the new domain this past weekend then loaded Word Press on the site and selected a simple theme yesterday before writing my first post. I don’t think I’ve done anything to this magnitude that quickly. Usually I would need to consider every detail from all angles…would need to assess if I really have enough time to devote to this, would I have enough to write about, how should the layout/theme be put together, oh and if it’s a new thing that means I need a new logo and full branded pretty package…because details matter in marketing and people won’t read stuff blah blah blah blah blah. Yes there is value in all of the marketing/branding ‘stuff’, but it often becomes a road block for me because…you guessed it, I feel the need to do it perfectly. (I am a photographer for those of you who don’t already know me…and have been on the branding & biz set-up journey for the past couple of years. That’s right…couple of years…perfection takes time HAH)

I posted yesterday still in the roller coaster ‘high’. I personally am not a fan of roller coasters so I haven’t been on many. But I can relate to the feeling as soon as you get off of one (and again, my idea of roller coasters may be others’ idea of ‘kiddie ride’ but still…). The ride stops and you’re thinking ‘THAT WAS AWESOME’! The entire ride you may have been thinking ‘WHAT THE HECK, GET ME OFF OF THIS THING, I’M GONNA DIE’,Β  but at least for me, right at the end there is a feeling of euphoria (or maybe it’s relief) and for a split second you think ‘Let’s do that again!!!’ Until the reality sets in that it was pure torture until it was over…

I was in the euphoric haze until late last night as the realization of reality started sinking in. I realized I had just committed to writing every.single.day. for the rest of this month. 31 whole days. In a row. Of essentially being ‘naked’. No editing, just being my real self. Which was fine until I realized that there were now people who said they wanted to follow this journey of mine. Meaning I’m going to be NAKED IN PUBLIC. Awesome.

Strangely enough, the idea of sharing actual naked content wasn’t what launched the perfectionist action sequence in my brain. It was the fact that I’ve committed to writing this without…making it perfect. I joined the FB group to connect with other 31 day writers and saw planning lists and that others were redesigning their blogs and and and…doing all the things that I would typically do. For a few minutes I started considering that I should be doing the same. But then I remembered my purpose for all of this. My purpose is not to please and impress an audience of many. It’s to glorify an audience of One.

One of my amazing talented friends who has the voice of an angel (hi AnnMarie πŸ™‚ )Β  sings on her church’s praise team down in FL. They often have worship nights that are ‘Concerts for the audience of One’. I love that. Isn’t that what our lives are supposed to be? Worship concerts for the audience of One?

God has gifted me with this perfectionistic characteristic and there is purpose for it. But like every other character trait that we all have, He’s gifted us with these talents in order to glorify Him. In order to realize that in our own abilities they won’t get us very far…but when we allow Him to use them through us, that’s where the magic happens. A football in my hands is pretty worthless…however in the hand of a gifted quarterback, it’s Super Bowl trophy worthy.

Maybe I don’t need to ‘recover’ from being a perfectionist. Maybe I just need to hand it over to God and allow Him to use it.

Write31Days Audience of OneImage Credit: Erin Kass Photography

 

 

17 thoughts on “An Audience of One

  1. I liked your post a lot. Now you have an audience of 2. πŸ™‚ I am sure the Lord will help you as you write for him. πŸ™‚

  2. Erin, thank you so much for posting this. I am part of the 31 day challenge and am feeling much of the same emotions. Like my blog has to be “perfect” and tied with a pretty little bow. Much like you I just jumped on this train at the last minute. Thank you for the reminder that is all about glorifying the One.

    I have a question for you – have you shared your blog with people you know personally? I haven’t told my friends and family about it yet – it makes me nervous for other people to read my thoughts. Just wondered what your take is on this. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Hi Kalie, I’m so glad it spoke to you! And yes, I have shared the posts on my personal FB. I’m about to write today’s post that will elaborate a bit (at least I think it will based on what has been churning in my head for the last little bit…who knows if God will hijack the direction for today at the last minute lol) but me doing this blog is the result of a long journey of getting me to this point of being completely open and vulnerable so that He can use me fully! It has been a gradual process of showing me that when I step out in faith and throw caution to the wind, so-to-speak, then He has the freedom to take over and reveal Himself to others and to me in ways I never dreamed possible! I encourage you to press in and work towards ripping off the band aid! πŸ˜‰ God has created you in such a special unique way and only you can do what you can do! As you dip your toes in the water and begin to share, I pray He shows you your capacity to be used by Him and that you grow in bravery to step out of the fear box and run after Him wholeheartedly <3

  3. Be encouraged my new friend. In this process you have the opportunity to discover what God wants to write through you. Things that only you can say. And since this is a public forum, things He wants to say to some specific folks. I love the way you ended this post, about rather than recovering from perfectionism, simple handing it over to God. This is what came to mind when I read that. In our flesh we try to get life and success with our achievement–ends up as perfectionism for some of us. But when we truly surrender the flesh motivation to God, then that drive can be channeled by the Holy Spirit as excellence. I will connect with you on other social media too:)

    1. Thanks Ginger. It is so overwhelming and humbling (in a good way) to see how God is using me already. I love that…’the opportunity to discover what God wants to write through you.’ And the difference between perfectionism and excellence is a topic I have in my head that may show up in a post one of these days! I’m forcing myself not to plan ahead, but to seek what God wants me to write about each day! πŸ™‚

  4. I can’t tell you how much how much this post encouraged me! I literally did the same thing as you! I heard of the challenge, got my blog set up and jumped right in. I have no subscriber or audience and so I keep asking myself why I’m doing this, but then I remember that I’m not necessarily doing this for others. I’m doing it because He’s called me to! Thanks so much for sharing! I’m looking forward to your series!

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