We’re in spring cleaning on steroids mode around these parts. It’s been like opening a time capsule as we’ve sorted through boxes in an attempt to finally get fully ‘moved in’ and organized (5 years later…) After 11 years of chaotic schedules, sickness, major home repairs, and too much busy, we decided 2015 is going to be the year we get caught up and settled in. We know the foundation has to be strong before moving into the new season of building.

Although they’re not as obvious as the boxes cluttering up the house, I have many folders of images cluttering up my computers. In order to make way for future new,  I started the process of cleaning out and organizing the old in my electronic closet.

Today I came across the fabulous family in the image below. I had the honor of photographing them in the fall of 2011. On that cool October day, they had no clue what was waiting for them in the future: At the end of February 2014, the mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.

As I glanced through their images again, I thought about how this family has publicly traversed this season of life with an attitude of victory. If you scroll through their social media feeds, you don’t see posts of despair but instead of being more than a conqueror. It would be easy to dismiss their journey as being ‘easy’ based on the fact they didn’t seem to struggle as much as others might appear to.

I don’t talk regularly to this couple and only know the public story but I’m sure they have had moments of discouragement. I’m sure in the past year there have been periods of wrestling with God and having to fight to stop the trails of ‘what ifs’ in their minds. They are still humans with emotions and although at times your head can be standing in faith believing that God is faithful, your heart can be hurting at the same time.

The saying ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease’ exists because it’s usually true. If something/someone isn’t making noise it/they aren’t usually given as much attention. But it doesn’t mean the attention is any less necessary.

It’s easy to spot the obvious. The posts on FB whining and complaining about life tend to get a lot of comments. The ‘poor-me-ers’ often get the attention they are seeking.

But what about the single mom who is working her tail off to provide for her three kids who chooses to put a smile on her face and rejoice in her life regardless of the circumstances? What about the co-worker who seems to have it all together but is secretly dying inside because his wife is battling a serious health condition and he doesn’t know how to help her? What about the person who is so lonely he/she resorts to drastic situations such as alcoholism or even prostitution to fill the void?

How often do we hear about a tragic scenario that costs a person his/her life (or quality of life) and think ‘wow, we had no idea’…but then look back with our 20/20 hindsight and see all the signs that had been previously missed?

God, give us the sensitivity to your Spirit to allow us to see not only the squeaky wheel ‘down and out-ers’ but the non-squeaky ‘up and out-ers’. May we not get so wrapped up in our own circumstances that we miss your promptings to ‘entertain angels’ in strangers we pass on the street. Show us the world around us through your eyes. Give us your heart for people.

May we be constantly looking for how to bless those around us regardless of if they appear to need it or not. We all need it. We all have hurts and struggles and are getting through this life as best as we know how. We can all use more encouragement all the time.

How different would this world be if we all woke up in the morning with the question ‘Who can I bless and encourage today?’ I challenge you to make it a part of your daily routine.

Image Credit: Erin Kass

In the summer of 1999, I had the awesome opportunity to go on our church youth group’s Senior class trip to Israel. We helped with a middle school youth camp for several days and then had four days to tour the country. On one of our days in the Galilee region, we took a boat out onto the lake. Our tour guide told stories as we cruised away from shore. When we reached a point farther out, he dropped the anchor and turned off the motor so we could have 5-10 minutes of silent prayer and meditation.

“That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”  Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.”  ~Mark 4:35-36

There I was, sitting on a boat in the middle of the same body of water where Jesus and his disciples crossed ‘to the other side.’ I was a recent high school graduate who was crossing from childhood to adulthood. I knew where I was going – God made it clear that He had given me a heart for photography and I was enrolled in the Photographic Technology program at Daytona Beach Community College (now Daytona State College) – but I had no clue about what ‘the other side’ actually looked like.

Today, almost 16 years later, I find myself in a similar position. Unfortunately I’m not out on a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee (seriously, when is teleportation gonna be invented?!) but I do feel as though I’m out in the middle of the water on the Sea of Life 🙂

Transition comes in many different shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s gradual and sometimes it’s an abrupt shift. Sometimes the changes are immediate, like when you say good bye to one job on Friday and hello to a new one on Monday. Sometimes we know it’s time to leave one place and head to ‘the other side’ but we don’t know exactly what ‘the other side’ looks like…or maybe we have a general idea but we just don’t know how big the ‘in-between’ space is and how long it’s gonna take to cross.

The first four months of this year have been full of a lot of prayer, vision-seeking and really resting in God as He revealed His blueprint for the next season of our lives. It has felt like a safe place…a protected place where we’ve frolicked through the heavenly fields of flowers and soaked in the supernatural. It’s a whole lot of warm fuzzy-ness when God pours out his love and encouragement and calls out the greatness inside of you. But then He gets to the point where He says ‘ok, it’s action time…start walking in the greatness I’ve called out and step into the deep end of faith.’ (insert human temper tantrum and the general feelings of ‘aw crap’)

The ‘in-between’ is a strange place. Maybe not for everyone, but since I’m made up of many layers, it is. Although some ‘in-betweens’ can feel like 40 years of wandering the wilderness like Israelites, thankfully I’m in a different type. It’s more along the lines of feeling like I’m standing on the edge of a diving board, about to jump off onto a hiking trail in the mountains.

I’m standing here on the edge of the future looking back over recent months thinking how it wasn’t long ago that my time was filled with things that aren’t even in my life anymore. I’m reflecting on the fact that as dramatic as it may sound, we’re standing on the edge of a future that will be lightyears beyond our past. God has called us into more. To press in, leave the crowd and cross ‘to the other side’ where a world that is beyond anything we’ve ever dreamed of awaits.

“A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” ~Mark 4:37-39

I’m jumping off the diving board onto a hiking trail in the mountains because pressing into God and following hard after His lead takes faith and commitment and putting on the blinders to things that are really not eternally important. It involves sacrifice and occasionally ‘the road less traveled.’

There have been and will continue to be storms and moments of asking God why the heck He’s sleeping while we’re getting tossed around by furious waves…and following moments where we stop accusing God of sleeping and instead invite Him into situations that we’ve tried to handle ourselves.

Maybe you find yourself in the boat attempting to make it to ‘the other side’ and you’re tired of asking God ‘ARE WE THERRRRE YET?!?’ Maybe you’re in the ‘wandering in the wilderness’ scenario or are standing at the edge of your own diving board trying to convince yourself to jump. Regardless of where you are, know that God is right there with you. He will never leave nor forsake you. The same God who calmed the storm and waves thousands of years ago is there to calm the storms in your circumstances and/or your heart.

There is a world you never imagined waiting for you ‘on the other side’. Stay in the boat, keep pressing on and into God, and allow Him to rock your socks off. I am right there in the boat next to you, cheering you on! 🙂

Image Credit: Erin Kass

Us humans can be so silly sometimes. I woke up this morning knowing that I was going to tell you ‘You are Loved’. So naturally, since the blog is now ‘official’ with a new tagline and has a new look and is ‘real’ (cause apparently the posts before the last one were imaginary…) my brain decided it needed to come up with a great deep post about the fact that you are loved. I finally had the liiiiight buuuulb (cue Dr. Gru) moment after at least an hour of getting no new thoughts other than ‘you are loved.’

Here’s the grand revelation I received…ready? You are loved.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NIV)

“ So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. ” (Romans 8:31-39 The Message)

The serpent from the garden of Eden is still around today. Instead of saying “you will not surely die” to Eve, he’s saying “you are surely not *really* loved and valuable and filled with greatness, right? It’s just a nice thought that God loves you. A nice little song for kids to sing…’Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…'” to us.

Of course God loves kids cause they’re kids. They haven’t fully screwed up yet. It’s wrong to compare one child to another. It’s cute when they make a mess or color outside the lines or fall down and cry out for love – but WE ADULTS should have our act together. It’s not cute when I make a mess and it’s a sign of weakness to need someone else. Right? Riiiiight. (cue Kronk)

When are we gonna wake up and realize that we complicate God’s love for us?! When are we gonna wake up and realize we’re His kids?! When are we gonna wake up and realize that WE’RE the ones believing that we’re worthless and not loved and that we have to perform or act a certain way in order to be seen as valuable and lovable?! It’s not God saying those things…

God loves you. Period. You are loved. Period. You are valuable. Period. You have the capacity to do great things. Period.

It doesn’t matter if you have been told your entire life that there is nothing overly special about you. That’s a lie. You are awesome and I would love to sit down with you over coffee and find this ‘awesome’ that you’re unaware of.  I pray that if you don’t have someone in your life who calls out your greatness, that God will bring someone to fill the void.

It doesn’t matter if you appear to have it all together on the outside but know you’re living a lie and are a hot mess on the inside. You are loved. You don’t have to keep it together all the time. Brokenness leads to healing. Will people be surprised and ‘disappointed’ if you show your true self? Maybe and probably. But that’s their problem. What’s more important, living in freedom or making others happy?

It doesn’t matter if you have been considered a second class citizen by others on this planet. You’re God’s favorite. He rejoices over you with singing and dancing. You are loved. Period.

I know I just wrote about Unconditional Love a couple posts ago. But we leak. The second we start to feel loved, that pesky serpent comes to try to tell us the same ‘you’re not worthy’ lies through people around us, social media, our own thoughts about ourselves, etc. It’s time we overcome the gibberish of the enemy and start to speak more truth about ourselves and others.

You are loved. You are valuable. You are awesome. Period.

Image credit: Erin Kass

As I mentioned in my For Future Generations and Interruptible posts, I had the privilege of attending the Delight leaders retreat in WA back in November. I  stayed a couple extra days with Kristin and her family, which meant that I got to experience their first real snowfall of the season. The fact that I was surrounded by the beautiful Cascade mountains was already a big change from my usual flat terrain, but then add in several inches of snow, and this FL-born-resident-of-VA-where-an-inch-of-snow-shuts-down-the-city girl had been transported to a whole new foreign land.

In this foreign land, there exists something called a snowmobile. Apparently, it’s a special vehicle created to travel over snow. Shockingly, I had never seen one of these mythical creatures in person before. I’m not sure they’re even allowed east of the Mississippi and south of the Mason-Dixon line…maybe in West Virginia since I’ve heard there are snow-covered mountains there where people do something called ‘skiing’ but that’s West Virginia…and I’ve heard those people are ‘special’ anyway…ok, ok, moving on from that rabbit…

As Kristin’s hubby, ‘kids’ (teenagers/young adults), and their friends headed out to frolic in this mythical snow land on the snow creatures, they asked if I wanted to join in on the ‘fun’. My answer was what I usually say when asked to participate in adventurous activities where bodily harm, and/or spikes of adrenaline are likely involved: ‘no thanks.’ Life is enough of an adventure for me and this highly sensitive human body doesn’t usually handle that kind of excessive stimulation. I can get excited just by staring at a tree while pondering the meaning of life. And besides, I had plans to spend the day with Kristin…I didn’t have time to freeze myself while speeding through the orchards on what my brain deemed to be merely a motorcycle for snow people.

But then, as I watched them from the warmth and safety of the house, that little (often annoying) voice kept saying ‘you just launched a blog with the purpose of encouraging others to be fully alive…to take opportunities to breathe in the fullness of life…to seek out new experiences in God and enjoy the adventure that comes from a relationship with Him’ –  and I knew what I had to do.

When the group came in for lunch, and Kristin’s husband John asked me for the 5th (at least) time if I wanted to go out for a ride, I said yes. I jumped on the back and held on for dear life.

In the slower times, it was easy to watch the scenery go by. It was easy to ‘pay attention to the circumstances’ and not be overwhelmed. But then John got to the end of a long clear path and said ‘Are you ready?! Hold on!’ and took off at 55 mph.

It was during those periods of higher speed that I quickly understood ‘taking thoughts captive’ (2 Cor 10:5) in a new way. Any time I thought about all the ‘what ifs’ – what if my hands suddenly got tired of holding on and I flew off the back, what if we hit a big bump and flip over, etc’ – I was ready to call it quits. But when I told those thoughts to go away and I simply focused on enjoying the ride, it was actually fun.

It may sound weird, but in those moments of  brisk air hitting my face while I bounced through the orchards on the back of a snowmobile, I knew I was experiencing much more than a ride in the natural. I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but God was leading me into a new season and this ride was a glimpse into my future and a teachable moment about faith and fully trusting Him.

If this isn’t your first time visiting my little plot of ‘land’ in cyber space, you’ve probably noticed it looks different. Today marks the official beginning of this new season in the Ready to Breathe adventure – I’m jumping on the back of God’s snowmobile. Just as I had to occasionally close my eyes, hold on, and trust John’s capable snowmobile skills, how much more can I trust the One who counts the stars and calls them by name? (Psalm 147:4)

Living in faith is closing our eyes to the natural circumstances, opening our eyes to the ‘unseen’/spirit and holding onto God, His word, His promises, and the knowledge that He IS a faithful and good Father.

I’ll be going more in depth in future blog posts about the vision and future of Ready to Breathe but as you may or may not see in the header (this new theme/design is still a work in progress!), the new tagline is ‘Living an abundant {naked, messy, adventurous} life as a CHILD of God’. I’m going all in.

I’m pressing into the abundant life of John 10:10. I want to cast off restraint and worship ‘with all my might’ as David did in 2 Samuel. I’m embracing and celebrating the ‘messy’ that is who I am – for God formed Adam and Eve from the dirt and called us ‘fearfully and wonderfully made.’ (Psalm 139). He isn’t afraid of our mess and instead is eager to ‘play in the mud’ with us in order to form beautiful things.

He came so that I can say ‘I AM A CHILD OF GOD’ (Galatians 4:7) and experience the unconditional love of a supernatural Father who delights in us and REJOICES over us with singing! (Zephaniah 3:17).

Life in God is an adventure. It’s full of twists and turns and moving out of our comfort zones to step into the fullness of Him. We weren’t created to be survivors who wake up in the morning just hoping to make it to the end of the day. We’re conquerors…actually, we’re MORE than conquerors according to Romans 8.

Today, I plant my proverbial flag in this new territory of life. I’m closing my eyes, holding onto God and am ready to breathe in His fresh presence as we speed off into all that He is.

We have two pug-children, Stitch and Lilo. (go ahead, I’ll pause for the ‘awwww’ that usually follows that statement). Stitch was a gift from my hubby for my 25th birthday. We’ve had him since he was a puppy. Lilo on the other hand is our ‘special needs child’. She was rescued from a puppy mill. I can’t get into the specific details of what puppy mills are or I will have to go spend the next hour in prayer – but they’re evil places.  Basically imagine hundreds of animals that aren’t taken care of and are only seen as ‘profit potential’. They’re usually where pet stores get their animals. On behalf of Lilo, I will say PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do your research when looking to add a furry family member. Support rescue organizations! [I’ll stop there cause the urge to go hurt some people is rising…Dear Jesus help me show your unconditional love even to those who hurt other humans and animals, Amen.]

We’re pretty sure the only time Lilo had human interaction was when she was being used for breeding. When she first came to our house, she had a bladder stone that was almost the size of her bladder and was peeing blood. She would FREAK out in a doggy panic attack if we left her sight even for a second. She laid on the hard floor instead of soft towels because that’s all she knew. She didn’t even know what a toy/rawhide was. She didn’t know love.

It is very evident that Stitch and Lilo have had ‘opposite sides of the track’ life experiences. Lilo has made HUGE progress but even after 5 1/2 years in a safe and loving environment, she still needs consistent assurance that she is safe and loved. She can have a sad, nervous, ‘no one loves me’ countenance even when she’s sitting right next to us getting attention. She doesn’t always jump in our lap for love unless we invite her in and reinforce that we want her.

Stitch on the other hand is pretty secure in his position in our family. When it’s snack/food time, he patiently waits by his mat knowing that he’ll get his share. Lilo still acts like she has to fight for anything she gets. If I’m in my office working, Lilo leaves her perch on the couch to come find me multiple times while Stitch happily stays snoring in his bed. If Stitch is getting attention, Lilo has to jump in and fight for some too. He doesn’t hesitate to jump in our lap if he wants to be there…or he’ll sit in front of us and give us the Stitchy stare that says ‘human, move, because your position is not exactly right for how I want to jump in your lap and I own you.’ (he can be an arrogant little stinker 😉 )

Hmmmm, sad pitiful faces and saying things like ‘I’m not pretty enough or talented enough or my life isn’t easy enough’ in order to get attention…pulling away and hoping someone notices so they make a big deal about your absence…always doing things and never really resting because performance brings attention and ‘love’ (people pleasing, anyone???)…trying to push others out of the way in order to steal their attention…

I know I’ve been talking about dogs but do any of these activities sound familiar in human behavior?! (obviously, in other people you know because OF COURSE you and I are perfect and never struggle with this stuff…you should forward this post to those people who come to mind because ‘they’ obviously need it 😉 )

Unfortunately for Lilo, I’m not sure that God can supernaturally restore trust, acceptance and unconditional love in animals. Who knows…He cares about the little things and all of creation so maybe. Fortunately for US, however, I KNOW that God can restore the damage caused by the lies of the enemy.

Maybe you have a background like Lilo, or maybe you have a background like Stitch but still struggle with not feeling like you’re ‘enough’ and feel as though you’re constantly trying to do things to find your place in this world. Regardless of what your story is, God’s story is that He loves you and me far beyond any love we could ever experience from others on this Earth. In Him you are enough. You don’t have to fight for attention or compete with anyone else. When we realize we are whole and complete in Him, and that His is the only approval we need to seek, we’re able to celebrate when others celebrate..without jealousy or thoughts of how we could do better (or even ‘why are they getting that praise?! They’re not that special!’)

“…For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” ~ Philippians 4:11b-13

I’ve always read that verse from the standpoint of ‘I can be content regardless of what is going on in life’…from a more material or circumstantial perspective. But what if we read it from the standpoint of love and attention and being ‘enough’: ‘I know what it is to not feel very loved and what it is to feel very loved. I have learned the secret of being content…whether I feel like I’m enough or not, whether I am ‘popular’ and have many social media followers or feel like no one even knows I exist. I can do all this – I can feel content and secure – because in God, I am enough and His love is enough and in Him I lack nothing’

If you’re struggling with comparison and are exhausted because you feel as though you’re always fighting to ‘be enough’ in order to find acceptance based on your performance, I pray that today is the beginning of a new season in your life. May today be the turning point where God begins to take the blinders of the enemy off of your eyes and reveals to you His perfect love.

I pray you feel the freedom to jump into His loving arms without hesitation. May you rest in His embrace like you never have before. Regardless of your past, your story, or your feelings, you are loved by the creator of the universe. Leave your ‘I’m not enough’ at His feet and allow Him to show you His ‘more than enough’.

Image Credit: Erin Kass

Enough:

1.As much or as many as required; 2.To the required degree or extent; 3.Used to express an impatient desire for the cessation of undesirable behavior or speech. (what shows up when you Google ‘define enough’)

Enough. I had had enough. I’d had enough of the noise and was ready for an escape. So I did. For 10 days I silenced the voice of social media and ran away to the beautiful land of real life – not the ‘cleaning toilets and vacuuming floors’ real life – but the ‘hey, there are trees and birds and PEOPLE and the clear voice of God in all of it’ real life.

I missed out on the whole black and blue and gold and white debate. Shocker, my world didn’t fall apart and if anything I returned to virtual reality thinking ‘really?!’ With everything going on in the world, how many minutes (hours?) and brain cells were wasted on a dress? Maybe I missed a greater significance, but really?!

Enough. I had had enough of the old season of life and was ready to fully step into this new one. At the beginning of this year, it was as if God ejected the old tape from the VCR and put in a brand new one. (that’s right, I’m feeling old school today). He pressed play but because of other distractions, I was only catching ‘previews’ here and there. I was ready to turn off the lights, silence the cell phone, make some popcorn and settle in to watch the full film featuring what God has in store for this year and beyond.

The crazy awesome thing about God is that the more you see of Him, the more you realize there’s so much more to see. These past 10 days have only left me wanting more – more of Him, more time to process all that He has already revealed, more capacity to handle all that He has to pour out.

Yet in the midst of this ‘more’, He has shown me ‘enough.’

I started reading ‘Captivating’ by John and Stasi Eldredge. The words on these pages so far could’ve come straight from my heart:

“I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I’ve ever met feels it – something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy.”

I am confident and know who God created me to be. I know who I am. But yet I still often find myself struggling with those thoughts of ‘not enough and too much.’  I recently saw a friend describe herself as a lion in a lamb’s body. I can relate.

On one side,  I am super gentle, soft, and sensitive. I don’t just sit across the table from someone who is hurting or ecstatic over a scenario in their lives – my heart jumps into theirs and experiences the feelings with them. My brother once said it’s as if I can ‘feel colors’ and as crazy as that might sound, it’s pretty accurate. It can be exhausting to live the roller coaster of life around me…especially when sensitivity and emotion is often seen as weakness. People get awkward around tears!

And then there’s the other side of me that is a strong leader and a no-nonsense tell-it-like-it-is lover of the messy & raw side of life. The deep well that holds the sensitive emotions also holds the boldly passionate ones. I often find myself wanting to hold back the intensity of what I feel so I don’t overwhelm (read: offend) others.  A bold woman can be seen as ‘feminist’ or a term used to describe female dogs!

In a world and even church culture of ‘not enough and too much’, God says I am enough.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” ~Psalm 139:13-14a

I am enough.  I can confidently run into the arms of my loving Heavenly Father without shame or feeling as though I am lacking in any area, regardless of what circumstances or others might say.

I am enough. I’m not where I’ll be tomorrow or next week or next year, but I’m not where I was yesterday or last week or last year. I am enough, right in this moment, and this moment is what I’m responsible for right now. “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” ~Matthew 6:34 (msg)

I am enough. I am a blend of sensitive and sassy, gentle and gallant, meticulous and messy. God created me this way for a purpose and it’s perfectly enough to be used by Him.

God is enough. He is my ‘I am’, the answer to every question, and the reason that I am enough.

 Image Credit: Jordan Brittley

Press pause on life for a moment and ask yourself this very important question: ‘Do I truly understand unconditional love?’

Hubby and I were out and about this past weekend soaking up the unusually warm sunny weather and spending time together. One activity we enjoy is going ‘Goodwill hunting’. There are several good thrift stores in our area and we’ve found some awesome deals. After hanging out in a Barnes and Noble for a bit, I had the urge to go Goodwill hunting because I couldn’t bring myself to pay full price for a book…since thrift store books are usually $3 at most. That’s the problem when you consistently find good deals – you never want to pay full retail ever again! (and I know it’s partially in my DNA thanks to my thrift store frequenting father and my mom whose best friend is ‘Clarence’…known to everyone else as ‘Clearance’.) There is just something about the thrill of the hunt and euphoria that comes from finding a brand new or lightly used item for much less than you would’ve paid in a store! Ok, this post isn’t really about thrifting and all this talk is making me want to ‘save draft’ to go shopping so I should probably move on…

Unfortunately, we made it to Goodwill toward the end of the day so most all of the good stuff was already gone but I did find a very lightly used copy of a best-selling book on my ‘want to read list’ for $1. One of the first thoughts that crossed my mind after finding the book was ‘oooh I should Instagram/FB this and the fact that I found it at Goodwill for only $1!!!’ and then I thought ‘but why?!’

Why did I really want to share this $1 book for hundreds of people to see? Yeah I could say that it’s because fellow deal-seeking friends would join me in celebrating my thrifty find, but really, it’s because I know the book is popular and the post would get likes. The world would definitely not be changed by my picture of a $1 copy of the book but in a small way, I would somehow feel happy about myself because others liked something I did that is currently considered popular. If we’re really honest with ourselves, isn’t that why most social media posts exist??? Why else do we have meme’s saying ‘don’t compare your behind the scenes with someone else’s highlight reel’ and why are some people’s feeds just full of their fancy vacations and food choices and outfits?

Social media absolutely has value. I’ve connected with old friends and met some of my new closest friends thanks to Facebook. But it’s also created an environment where it’s even easier to slip into performance-based love. We see others getting praise and acceptance and ‘love’ because of what they do so it makes us want to do those things in order to get ‘love’ ourselves. And I’m saying ‘love’ because is it really true love? All you have to do is disappear from social media for a bit to see which relationships in your life are truly love-based relationships or if they’re strictly surface-level social media relationships! And vice versa…if someone suddenly dropped off the face of social media, would you realize they were gone? Or would you be too busy liking everyone else who has remained active?

If we don’t understand unconditional love it will affect every area of our life. There are verses galore about love and God’s love for us but if we don’t truly understand what unconditional love is, then those verses are worthless. Some of us may not have ever experienced unconditional love here on earth so it’s practically impossible for us to understand that the God who created the universe loves us regardless of what we say or do. We can so easily fall into the trap of living life without healthy boundaries because we’re busy seeking love and acceptance from others. There are books all over the place about ‘following your passion’ and ‘saying no to what doesn’t matter so you can say yes to what does’ and ‘being yourself’….but it’s impossible to do any of those things without understanding and LIVING in God’s unconditional love.

I might say today that I’m setting boundaries and am going to say no to anything that doesn’t support what is on my ‘yes’ list. But then what happens when tomorrow I tell someone no and then they suddenly don’t pursue a relationship with me as much anymore? What happens if I see a person who I thought was a close friend suddenly inviting others to get-togethers instead of me? If I’m living in God’s unconditional love and understand that boundaries are healthy and that HIS approval is the only one I need to seek, then I don’t worry about it. But if I don’t understand it, I’ll eventually find myself again saying yes to things that are helping others move toward their dreams and goals while mine get pushed to the back burner.

Or what if I have these passions and dreams inside of me but I can’t step out in faith to go after them because I’m afraid that people will reject me? Faith requires full understanding of non-performance based love. I have never seen a successful person whom everyone likes and/or agrees with. Barack Obama is the president of the United States but he definitely is not liked by everyone. Justin Bieber? Taylor Swift? Michael Jackson? These are musicians who have been praised as highly successful yet thousands still don’t like them. Stepping out in faith and moving toward what God has placed in your heart takes resting in God’s unconditional love and not worrying about what others are going to think or if they’re still going to love you.

We stretch ourselves too thin and worry about things that aren’t important because we don’t understand unconditional love. Instead we live and act in fear of rejection and non-acceptance. We live based on what is popular instead of what God says about our lives. I invite and challenge you to take time to reflect on your life and ask yourself why you do the things that you do. Are you posting on social media to honestly just share with friends and family about your lives or are you seeking the attention and ‘love’ of others? Are you exhausted and is your schedule triple booked because you are seeking the approval and gratitude of others to fill the love-void in your life?

Performance-based love is like an addiction. Once the immediate loving feelings from one ‘thank you’ fade, we scramble to get to the next one and the next one and the next one until we’re burnt out and ironically, feeling completely unloved regardless of what we do.

God, show us what it’s like to experience and live based on your UNCONDITIONAL love. May YOU be our source so we can love on others from a position of healthy balanced strength instead of struggle and strife.  For those reading this who have never experienced your true unconditional love, I pray that you give them a glimpse of it today. Bring people into their lives to show them what it’s really like to be embraced by their Heavenly Father who adores them for who they are regardless of what they have or haven’t done.  Amen.

Image Credit: Erin Kass

If I’ve learned anything in my almost 34 years on this planet, it’s that God is in the interruption business. We come up with 6 month, 1 year, and 5 year plans. We get up in the morning and tackle the never ending list of to-dos. We stress about stupid details that ultimately really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Or maybe that’s just me (except for the long term planning part…after a minute of being married to the military I learned that planning past the next one hour could turn out to be a huge waste of time! Or at least if you make plans, you better have plan B, C, D and even E 😉 )

And then God has His way of interrupting our plans. Or maybe we’re the interrupters when we attempt to live life without consulting Him first? Or maybe it’s a delicate mixture of both and that’s why it’s so important to be in constant communication with the One whose ways are higher than ours.

Interruptions come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s a text from a friend who really needs to talk – when you’re right in the middle of a productive day. Sometimes it’s the prompting of Holy Spirit to bless a stranger in a store or a homeless person on the street. Sometimes it’s God showing up with a huge ‘road closed ahead’ sign when it’s time for you to take a left turn and head in a different direction in life. I personally experienced that last one at the beginning of this year.

If you know me or have read previous posts, you know that Delight has been a huge part of my life for the past couple of years. God planted those 14-21 year old creative ladies in my heart and used them to shape me into the person I am today. In my head, being part of this awesome ministry was in my 5 year plan. I had the privilege of leading the East Coast retreat last year and plans for a retreat this year were running through my head. I flew to WA for a week in November to participate in the leaders retreat where I connected with more fantastic ladies as we discussed the future and made plans to take the ministry to a whole new level.

Coming into 2015, Pete and I knew we were entering a season to rest and get our ducks in a row. We knew it was time to lay the puzzle pieces of our lives on the table and make sure they fit together perfectly so our time and resources are being used efficiently. As we prayed for wisdom about how to proceed, God made it clear that the Delight puzzle piece was supposed to be removed from the equation.

In the natural, it made absolutely no sense. I had plans that I know God had revealed to me…He said go to WA for the leader’s retreat, even in the midst of a busy year when I was just ready to stay home and sleep…I have spent years building close relationships with these girls and the idea of not being part of their lives in the same way anymore wasn’t something my brain could comprehend. But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was God saying it was time to step away. It is a very strange thing when your spirit and mind and emotions feel like they’re in different worlds! Not that I’ve ever watched it, but I can understand where the idea for The Twilight Zone originated from! 😉

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”  ~ Isaiah 55:8-11

This life isn’t about me. I’m here to be an open vessel, ready to be used by God in whatever way He wants – even when it doesn’t make sense in my human brain and even when it’s not the easiest option.

Thank you Lord for your infinite wisdom and that your ways are higher than mine. Thank you for your incomprehensible peace and new vision when you interrupt ours. You’ve proven yourself to be faithful and I’ll follow where you lead in this adventure of life. Amen.

Have you experienced a scenario where God interrupted your plans? (big or small!) What was it and how did God show Himself to be faithful in your situation? I’d love to hear all about it! Share in the comments below 🙂

The problem with being a complex individual is that well, life is complex. Emotions are complex. Circumstances and experiences have multiple layers and life often feels like a series of Rubik cubes – once you sort one block out, there’s another one to tackle. When compared to others who are not so complex, it can feel like having a complex personality is more curse than blessing. I often look at my non-complex husband and think ‘How is life so easy and straight-forward for you?!’ But then there are times where I experience the depth and complexity of the glory of God in my own unique way and I’m thankful for my Rubik cube DNA. (and I’m also thankful for my non-complex husband to keep me sane in the mundane 😉 )

I woke up this morning processing thoughts and emotions that could probably lead to at least 10 different blog posts and I’m sure they will all somehow work their way to this screen. But right now I’m just being me. When I started this blog in October I kinda had one direction for it but now I see that it’s supposed to be the space for me to be me. Because God told me in the fall of 2012 that He would set others free to be who He created them to be as I live my life in the fullness of who He created ME to be. Me – this complex hot beautiful mess of complex emotions and thoughts (yes I used complex twice on purpose…seriously, if you could only get into my head some days you’d probably run away screaming 😉 ) Me – the creative weirdo who has a deep intellectual thought one minute and is thinking about a marshmallow fight the next. I’m like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get. I don’t fit the mold. I don’t easily fit in. And that’s ok, because there’s purpose in my uniqueness.

I’m ready to get real. Not the ‘pretty real’ but real real. What would happen if we all lived from the position of fully trusting God – where all our significance and self-worth truly comes from Him? What would happen if we stopped caring about what other people think and we just ran hard after His heart? What would happen if ‘the world’ saw God-lovers living out their lives and being real with their struggles instead of being concerned with keeping up appearances of having it all together? I’ll tell you right now that I don’t have it all together…but I know that my God says that His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) and that He will never leave nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know why certain things happen the way that they do but I know that God has proven Himself to be faithful in my life over and over again. And THAT is why I can put my faith and trust in Him. My life doesn’t look like what I thought it would by this point but I’ve followed where He led as best as I’ve known how and I wouldn’t trade any of it.

Yesterday, Bethel Music released the full-length preview of their new song “In Over My Head”. It’s the song of my heart in this moment:

I’m going under, I’m in over my head

And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be

I’m going under, I’m in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim

It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head

I’m Beautifully in over my head

I’m Beautifully in over my head

Image Credit: Jordan Brittley

Breath. It was breath that God breathed into a man made of dust and made him come alive. Alive…whole…in perfect communion with God.

At the end of Sept last year, as I  sat down to intentionally take a quiet few moments to pray about the write 31 days challenge for October, I took a deep breath. Time seemed to move in slow motion as God flooded my thoughts with the realization that I so often take for granted His breath of life. I so often go through the motions of life and forget to breathe. I forget to breathe Him in deeply so He can flood my senses with His fragrance.

As I experienced the fullness of Him through that deep breath of His presence, He downloaded the vision for my life and this blog. I’m ready to breathe. I’m ready to live in His abundant life and to spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Him as it says in 2 Corinthians 2:14. But the only way I can truly spread His fragrance is if I’m breathing it in.

From this day forward, I’m ready to breathe and remember what is truly important. I’m ready to be intentional with my time so there is room to breathe. My personality wants to fill every second of the day with activity. In my human brain, that is what it means to be fully alive. But God has shown me that His fullness of life comes when we take the time to breathe and give Him space. We are fully alive when we live and work out of His rest instead of our strength and abilities.

My calendar isn’t empty because I haven’t filled it in yet. It’s empty because aside from our anniversary this month, there’s nothing to fill in. My husband and I are intentionally taking extra time to breathe – or more accurately, ‘to catch our breath.’ It’s time for us to make sure our priorities are in correct order and that we’re making decisions based on what is best for those priorities. It’s time for us to finally get our house in order so that our surroundings reflect calmness instead of chaos. It’s time for us to have room for us.

So although it’s a week past the official start of this New Year, I raise my glass of sparkling cider (or maybe my glass of two sips of sparkling wine since I’m such a light weight 😉 ) and propose a toast to 2015 and beyond – to setting healthy boundaries, to saying no when necessary so I can say yes to what really matters, to more deep breaths of God’s presence, to living fully alive in His joy and peace. Here’s to the best that is still yet to come.

Image Credit: Erin Kass